Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
