They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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