i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
