At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
