You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
