I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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