69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize