I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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