I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
