weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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