I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
