they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
