What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
