That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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