I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Boobs are out for the taking
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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