Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
