i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You smell like stripper and shame
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
