They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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