What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We have so much sex to catch up on
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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