You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
