Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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