Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
