do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
