My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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