He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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