other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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