he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
