just tell him i said nine months
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Verdict: uncircumcised.
its liver damage thursday
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
