hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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