A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
