I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
