my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
All the doctor said was why
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
