lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize