I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
