Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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