Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
