If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
nutella sex= disaster
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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