Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
