I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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