dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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