help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
