now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
