lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
