like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
