Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
