Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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