this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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