i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
