if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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