I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
