i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
