I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
