i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
