I just made out with a guy for $7.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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