haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
