just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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