I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
