one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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